The Secret Life of Bees(itches)!!!

Mmh, so what, they made a magazine cover...whoop-dee-doo. Wanna know the secrets these B's is hiding (from my prospective)?
Jennifer Hudsons' secret: Shes so unkept and sloppy...she needs a new stylist, a manicure, a weight loss goal, and some voice lessons to get that opera sound in check. Shes engaged to a pushover closet fagg (Punk from I love New York). He would go after a bully like J Hud....

Queen Latifahs secret: She ain't no queen, more likek DRAG queen. shes a closet dyke if you ask me. Her hair won't grow and its been basically in the same style since the 'Living Single' days. Her personal life reflects the character she played in 'Set it Off' and she should try out for football after her acting/rapping career dries up....I think she would make a perfect linebacker

Alicia Keys secret: Shes a home wrecker. She stole wack azz beat maker Swizz Beats from a married woman. Shes actually a lezbo if you ask me and no matter what she does to conceal it, itz oozing out her pores. Her career is always luke warm and nobodys really checking for her azz...